I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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