u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
