bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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