I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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