Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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