he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
