went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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