his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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