THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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