Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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