He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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