someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
