Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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