She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
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This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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