Princesses don't give blow jobs
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
