Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
