It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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