And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
