what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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