I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do vagina's smell?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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