I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
