his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
