Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
