But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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