yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've blown a few things in my day
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
