just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize