dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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