Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize