Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
