my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm passing your future prison.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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