If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
