idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Randomize
