If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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