i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
