Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
