i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im holly from the hills drunk
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so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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