You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
