why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Man, jail baloney is awful.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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