Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
