My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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