we're chasing vodka with high fives
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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