Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
