So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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