garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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