I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
