i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
