No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
