Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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