this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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