batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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