Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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