its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
