Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
